The Feedback Series, Part 4—Opening the Discussion

Welcome to part 4 of our New Leader Tuesday series on strengthening your feedback skills.

Part 1 tackled the issues of fear and anxiety that keeps so many new leaders from engaging in or conducting effective feedback discussions.

Part 2 emphasized the importance of assessing the feedback situation and establishing a direction for the upcoming discussion.

Part 3 helped us focus on the key ingredients required in every feedback discussion: behavioral, business rationale, candid and specific, involves dialog and timely delivery.

Now, it’s time to plan the opening sentence.

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Most feedback discussions succeed or fail in the opening sentence. You have a chance to engage the receiver and build value or, point a finger and make the discussion feel like an indictment. And because opening the discussion is so uncomfortable for many of us, we start with the classic line: Bob, you’ve been doing a great job, BUT… .

Yes, the infamous “But” sandwich, a classic default of many who are uncomfortable, uninformed or have been generally poorly trained on engaging in and delivering feedback effectively. While critics often describe my disdain for the “But” sandwich as reflecting someone who is anti-positive feedback, in reality, I encourage you to give ample positive feedback as it is earned, separate and distinct from the constructive topics. More on this in a future post.

For now, let’s focus on establishing a simple framework for getting the feedback discussion started on a constructive footing.

6 Tips to Help Get Your Feedback Discussion Started on the Right Track:

1. Start your planning by reminding yourself of the purpose of feedback: strengthen positive behaviors that promote high performance or, eliminate or change those behaviors that detract from high performance.

2. Always take time to plan your opener. I encourage you to initially jot down and practice your opener. As you gain experience with the technique, you’ll do this from muscle memory and you’ll grow more comfortable with spontaneous feedback discussion.

3. Choose an appropriate setting. Generally, constructive feedback delivered in front of an audience is destructive feedback. Show respect for the receiver.

4. Use the key ingredients to assemble the opener. What’s the observed behavior? What is the impact of the behavior on individual, group or company performance?

5. Start clear and simple: Bob, I would like to talk with you about the importance to our business of being on time. I’ve noticed that you’ve been late to work three times during the last month. When you or anyone on our team is late, it strains our resources and as a result customer response times increase and customer satisfaction drops. Being short-staffed also places excessive stress on the team as they have to scramble to cover for the missing person.

Or,

Mary, I would like to talk with you about the importance of accuracy in the reports we provide to marketing and purchasing. During today’s presentation, you acknowledged that your report contained multiple mistakes because you were rushed to put it together. Marketing uses this data to plan campaigns and purchasing factors this into their forecasts for inventory and production. When we make mistakes, it has a ripple effect throughout the company that creates waste or shortages and impacts both our customers and our financial results.

6. Derail the train and quit talking after the opener. It’s common for the feedback giver to continue talking…in part from nervousness and in part from a lack of understanding of how to bridge from the opener to the action-plan development. A helpful approach is to ask a question. Bob, do you understand the impact that being late has on our ability to serve our customers? Or, Mary, do you understand how the data in our reports is used by other functions to make decisions?

The Bottom-Line for Now:

Our focus in this post is on getting the conversation started. A bit of prior planning plus proper use of the key ingredients all combine to help simplify getting started. You don’t need to rely on the But sandwich or, mixing positive feedback in with constructive feedback, when the constructive content is truly your focus.

While the examples above are simple, the model fits for even the toughest of topics. The ingredients must be combined and presented to showcase the observed behavior and the impact this behavior has on performance. Once those issues are clear, it’s easier (not always easy) to bridge to the dialog on strengthening performance and/or eliminating the unproductive behavior.

Action Planning: Review the series and begin incorporating the key ingredients in planning your discussion opener for any feedback sessions you are involved in. Keep a journal to note what worked and what didn’t. Practice, practice, practice!

Up next in the series: From opener to action plan and follow-up. Navigating the discussion.

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More Professional Development Reads from Art Petty:

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