Professional Courtesy Never Goes Out of Style
The issue of professional courtesy (or seeming lack thereof) came up at a recent networking group meeting. With permission, I’m sharing the spontaneous suggestion list we generated, including ideas for live and social media settings. You can easily intuit the pet peeves that led to the suggestions.
Please add to the list and let’s all strive to put these into practice in real-time.
At Least 15 Ideas to Help Bring Professional Courtesy Back:
1. Don’t send a Linked-In invitation without personalizing the note. (OK, this one was mine. It’s the height of laziness to skip this common-sense and common-courtesy step.)
2. If someone facilitates an e-introduction, thank the person who introduced you and take the initiative to reach out to the person you’ve been introduced to. Don’t let these go stale.
3. Jamming business cards into people’s hands at networking events isn’t networking. Introduce yourself, ask about the other party and listen.
4. One conversation at a time in group settings. Always. Forever. Always.
5. Say “thank you” constantly and mean it. Say it in person, via-email, in social media settings…everywhere.
6. We all know that “Thank You” in your e-mail signature is in your e-mail signature. There’s something less genuine about that. Type it out yourself so it doesn’t look like you put it in your e-mail signature because you’re too lazy to type it out!
7. Auto DM messages on Twitter are generally not appreciated and frankly, they feel disingenuous.
8. Executive Recruiters, we know you work for yourself first, the client second and the candidate not at all. However, you have a professional obligation to loop back with candidates. These are people’s lives and livelihoods you are dealing with here.
9. HR Managers and Hiring Executives, see the comment on Executive Recruiters and follow-up.
10. For all of us: quit “effing” around with the smartphone when you are SUPPOSED TO BE ENGAGING with (lisenting to, talking with) other humans.
11. Beware overuse of “I” in your conversations. Every “I” is amplified 10 decibels above your other words and after a few, we grow deaf to your message.
12. The 3rd stall on the right (or any stall) in any restroom is not the place to hold a phone conversation.
13. Listen better.
14. Smile more.
15. Walk into a room and portray a demeanor of “You’re here and I’m honored to see you,” instead of the royal, “I’m here and you should be honored to see me.” Trust me, we sense which one you are portraying.
The Bottom-Line for Now:
Courtesy given freely and genuinely pays handsome dividends many times over. What a great investment! Let’s bring professional courtesy back.
And to those of you who stop by to read and to share your wisdom, Thank You. -Art
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Art Petty is a Chicago-based management consultant focusing on strategy and leadership development. Art regularly speaks on innovation in management and leadership, and his work is reflected in two books, including the recent, Leadership Caffeine-Ideas to Energize Your Professional Development. (download a free excerpt at Art’s facebook page.)
Art publishes regularly at The Management Excellence blog at https://artpetty.com/blog/
Prior to his solo career, Art spent 20+ years leading marketing sales and business units in systems and software organizations around the globe. You can follow Art on twitter: @artpetty and he can be reached via e-mail at [email protected]
Such a great post! Our minds really are on a similar wavelength: I’ve been toying with the title “How Genuine is Professional?” because I feel that lack of ingenuity of which you speak! Can’t deny that I have been guilty of a few on the list of 15, but being “professional” can be overdone to the point of obvious fakeness. I’m a rebel, I’m sure you know by now, and love the courageous stance!
Laura, the rebel in you is inspirational. Looking forward to a near future guest post from you on my site! -Art
Great post! Of all the items listed, number 10 – the phone issue – really strikes a nerve with me, especially when it occurs in a meeting. People need to realize that checking/sending messages or taking a call during the course of a meeting makes you look RUDE, not IMPORTANT. If you are so busy that you have to attend to business on your phone while in a meeting, then send someone to the meeting on your behalf.
And Laura…I like your title idea and couldn’t agree more with your sentiments!
Sherry, thank you! You said it perfectly! -Art
I also loved the post and hope it has a positive impact. I also want to see more genuine professional courtesy. It feels that we are losing touch with how to listen and are succumbing to the immediacy of other demands. A few more to throw out there:
– If we are involved in a conversation and you get a text, please don’t stop mid-sentence to check your text. You are sending the message that any other communication is more important than the converation we are having.
– When someone spends time reviewing or updating a presentation or article you wrote, don’t debate their feedback. Thank the person for their input, review the feedback with an objective eye, and leverage the suggestions to improve your material.
– If you are involved in a conference call or meeting, it is really not ok to continue doing other work such as answering emails, updated slides, and generally not participating in the subject at hand. This is a distraction. If you don’t feel that you have a role in the meeting, you might want to question your attendance.
Debbi, those are some great additions! I see all three of these in action all of the time! Thanks for sharing…and let’s help stomp a few of these bad habits out of our daily lives! Cheers, -Art
People’s obsession with status and title to the extent that they ignore the good ideas coming up from the ground.
I recently attended a workshop for academic leaders in internationalisation – great event for info/knowledge; poor for networking – why? Simply because most of the attendees during introductions ‘switched off’ to me as soon as they found out that I was on a grade junior to theirs – shame on you!
Only 1, very professional Deputy Vice-Chancellor emailed me after the event to congratulate me on the questions I’d raised, plus 1 or 2 ideas that had come to me, and we’re staying in touch.
To those who judge an idea by who’s suggesting it, I suggest you could be missing some tricks! If you see this practice in your organisation, start anonymising your ideas-generation process – it’s a good route to innovation.
Julie, this is a wonderful addition that sounds like it comes along with some recent pain. The notion of people tuning you out due to a lower grade is ridiculous and sadly, all too common. Thanks for this very appropriate addition! -Art