Note from Art, OK, this is a bit of a rant on the state of customer service in some firms.  If you find the topic disagreeable, leave me an e-mail or dial my phone and press 1 to…

Perhaps my age is showing here, but sometimes, you just need human contact! For customer support that is!

The issue is customer service and specifically, the increasing number of businesses that I am running into that offer no or extremely hard-to-find contact with a human for support or account questions.

I’ll admit that my “0 for Operator” button is worn thin from attempting to power my way through automated dialing systems at every possible encounter. I view it as my inalienable right to attempt to foil the evil machinations of automated systems that I suspect are responsible for a societal rise in average blood pressure.

I get that we are in a digital age and you can bet that I solve many, many problems through searching on the internet before I ever reach for a phone. Survival in this age almost requires you to be a super sleuth on the search engines, artfully choosing and scientifically iterating on word choice combinations like, “Why is my *&()(*)* g-mail account inaccessible?” or, “Google-mail problems 9/1/09.” The latter selection worked better than the first.

I also understand the cost implications of having people available to answer questions. Taken from a cost-only perspective, I’m sure it’s tempting to consider either the nefarious off-shoring option, where “Arlene” with a thick accent will spend 20 minutes running you through the script on rebooting your DSL modem that you could recite in your sleep, or, to automate on the web or on the phone.  Cost smart and revenue and loyalty blind!

Note to those firms that think your FAQs answer everything. They tend to do a great job answering everything that I might need to know someday.  They generally fail on the question I’m trying to get answered right now1

Ordering a Hamburger in the Drive-Thru Just Got Off Shored!

From the school of non-essential news on interesting and potentially silly advances in customer support systems, did you know that some fast-food chains (they prefer that we call them Quick Service) have been experimenting with drive-thru off shoring?

You pull up to the drive-thru. “Arlene” with the thick accent puts my DSL support call on hold and greets you, takes your order, asks if you want to supersize it and then places the order for the store employees to fill.

You’ve just gone halfway around the world and back to ensure that you can get your daily dose of “build your own heart-attack” in a bag, but I guess they maintained the human connection. Sort of. (OK, I confess that I’ve seen the reported statistics on labor savings, increased store productivity and increased drive-thru throughput, and they are impressive. Doesn’t mean that I have to like it!)

A Classic Case of a Poorly Conceived Support System or How to Destroy Value & Reputation in a Hurry!

My particular “beef” today is with an as of yet unnamed service provider that offers no way whatsoever to reach a human being to deal with account issues. Customers can sign in and check up, but they apparently cannot check out!

The service provider appears by all measures to be highly reputable and clearly offers a quality service for business professionals. The billing is monthly to your credit card, and in my case, after a few months of experimentation, I decided that as much as I liked the service, I wasn’t ready for it yet.

I set about figuring out how to discontinue my account only to discover that there is absolutely no way to do this. There are no instructions. There are no life-lines.  There are no people!

Eight Frustrating Steps:

  1. I looked for a corporate phone number. Nothing.
  2. I scoured the FAQs and used the Help function on the Web. Nothing.
  3. I scoured the regular e-newsletters from the company for information on support or for evidence of the phone number. Nothing.
  4. I submitted an on-line help-desk ticket and waited for a response. Nothing. (This was in contrast to all other help desk tickets that I had submitted which had an auto-response indicating that the message had been received and fairly prompt (within a few hours) follow-up. Nothing.
  5. I checked my credit card bill for the phone number and dialed it. Answering machine. The “0” button took me in an endless loop. I hung up.
  6. I searched the web and found some legal information on the business including the phone number. Same as the number on my credit card. There was another search engine result that indicated that this business regularly has a phone mailbox that is full.
  7. I dialed, recorded a polite but clear message and even praised the product. This is absolutely not about customer satisfaction. I asked for the courtesy of an e-mail or phone call to confirm that my account was closed. After a week, nothing!
  8. I attempted to login to my account and noticed that my access was denied. I’ve made a small leap of faith and suspect that this is my confirmation. You can bet I’ll be monitoring my credit card bills and if a charge shows up, I will let the guard dogs at the credit card company fix this. In contrast to this particular service provider, the two times I’ve had disputes, these people have been incredible.

The Bottom-Line

So many customer service approaches today are cost-focused and revenue and loyalty blind. In my opinion, many of these systems create new vexing problems for their customers. At a minimum they add stress.

In spite of the quality service of the thus-far unnamed service provider described above, I will be ice-skating in you know where before I come back to this firm.  In fact, I will seek out a competitor, assuming I can find one that doesn’t operate like a “Roach Motel.”

Would it have been so hard to set up a friendly procedure to cancel accounts? Why send otherwise happy users away ticked off and vowing never to come back?

Solve problems with your customer service and support approaches…don’t create new ones.

Rant over.