Note from Art: here’s the lead-off article in this series.
Feedback and Your Coaching Toolkit
Feedback—both positive (appreciation) and improvement-oriented–is a vital part of your coaching toolkit. It’s also one of the most troubling, vexing areas for managers because the improvement-oriented (aka constructive) feedback is simultaneously awkward, stressful, and potentially emotionally fraught for all parties. For this article, let’s focus on improvement-oriented feedback. I’ll cover appreciation in a future setting.
In working with clients from the C-Suite to the front lines, I spend time with each individual, helping them hone their skills for the feedback part of the coaching dialog. We start by getting on the same page about this coaching tool and then work to help them grow comfortable designing and engaging in quality discussions (emphasis on discussions) for the most challenging topics. Here are (at least) ten great practices for succeeding with feedback that I introduce in these settings.
Ten Great Feedback Practices:
1. Bake the appreciation of and need for feedback into your group’s values.
Quality feedback starts when the understanding and need for it is baked into the values of the broader working environment as necessary for supporting growth and continuous improvement. Your first job as a manager is to get on the same page with everyone about the meaning and importance of feedback. Your second job is to model the right behaviors. Solicit feedback with you and praise the giver for their suggestions. Ask them to give you feedback on how you bring the feedback to life.
2, Use feedback for learning, growth, and performance improvement, not criticism.
Constructive feedback is never intended as criticism and shouldn’t be presented as such. Be aware that it is often interpreted as a threat to a person’s identity. Use these 10 Tips to make sure that doesn’t happen.
3. Chase fear out of your feedback discussions.
Recognize that The Lion Effect (my term for fight or flight) is present in just the idea of giving or receiving feedback, and it’s your job to make sure the lion remains safely out of sight for all parties. Make people comfortable with this part of their/our working lives.
4. Recognize that good people want to grow, and they want meaningful, actionable input.
Good people want input on how to sharpen their skills or blunt weaknesses. They want timely, respectful, helpful information on strengthening or growing. Feedback is your coaching vehicle for this activity.
5. To be effective, feedback must flow in all directions.
Feedback must flow in all directions: up, down, and sideways. Mostly, it doesn’t flow up or sideways, and this is on the manager to teach, model, and coach on the right behaviors.
6. Observed behaviors, only, please and make it timely.
Feedback is delivered as close to the observed behavior as possible for the best effect. There are a few exceptions, including when privacy is difficult to find or when the situation is emotionally charged. And, as soon as you start delivering hearsay feedback (He did this/She said that) you enter the No-One-Benefits zone. You can have discussions about those or ask questions, but don’t give feedback unless you observed it.
7. Never bank feedback.
See the prior suggestion. Don’t bank or store up feedback, even for 1x1s. Don’t end a week without a needed feedback discussion.
8. Stop excavating the past and start looking forward together.
The value of looking backward is negligible. Your discussion should always evolve to feed-forward, emphasizing designing an approach or response for future situations.
9. There’s a framework for designing and delivering quality feedback discussions. Use it.
There’s a framework for designing challenging discussions that creates value for all parties. It’s B.I.T.-Q. (Observed Behavior, Impact, Timing, and a Question to promote a feed-forward dialog.) See A Simple, Powerful Fix for Feedback Problems on Your Team. Learn to use this framework. Tune it, tailor it, and the quality and impact of your feedback discussions will improve.
10. Always design solutions together.
It’s tempting to be directive on the improvement required. Sometimes you have to do that, but mostly you don’t. Instead, create a dialog where the receiving party is encouraged to describe/define how they will strengthen a specific behavior. Remember to give feedback as they employ the ideas generated in these sessions.
Other Important Elements of Your Coaching Feedback Work
Practice, Practice, Practice
Practice is the only way to strengthen skills for designing and delivering quality coaching feedback discussions. I encourage you to keep a journal. Note what worked and what didn’t, and identify what you will do differently the next time.
How are you doing?
Ask for feedback on your feedback practices. When I run “Working Environment” surveys with manager-clients, I always ask individuals to comment on the quality and timeliness of the feedback they receive.
Hone your skills for managing yourself if the discussion goes sideways.
Some discussions go sideways. It pays to have a strategy for calmly getting those back on the rails and moving forward—your ability to manage yourself when the situation moves in the wrong direction is essential. Dial your sense of empathy and wonder why the topic or discussion generates the emotional or aggressive response. Use mirroring via face/voice/posture to set the tone for a calm conversation. Reframe the situation as one to promote growth and performance. Ask for their help.
The Bottom Line for Now:
One of the big thoughts that kept me awake at night as a senior executive was the idea of all the needed, challenging conversations that weren’t taking place. How much performance, improvement, personal growth, and organizational strengthening were we leaving on the table by failing to teach everyone how to talk about tough issues? This worry pushed me hard to teach, listen, encourage, solicit input on me, and praise the courage of people who took on difficult discussions. It’s your turn. Build a quality coaching process that helps bring feedback to life for learning, growth, and improvement.
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Strengthening your feedback skills; learning to use the B.I.T.-Q framework and managing yourself in tough discussions are all part of the agenda in the Manager Development Program. Check here for dates on the next open enrollment sessions, or reach out to Art via e-mail to discuss a dedicated session for your group.
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