Confidence is contagious. Arrogance will clear a room like rotting fish wrapped in newspaper and left to cure sans refrigeration. And lack of confidence is guaranteed to get you stepped on during most days.
The perception by managers and executives of where you fall on the continuum of not self assure at all on one end to arrogant on the other is important. You of course, want to fall right in the sweet spot of appropriately confident.
The people that dole out promotions and project assignments are looking for talent and looking for help from people that they can trust. Your portrayal of your self-confidence will impact this perception and impact your job and career progression.
Will You Pass the Blink Test?
As an early career professional, I recall being subjected to the blink test by our organization’s most powerful and feared executive. He wanted little to do with rookies and he was famous for occasionally singling one out to make his or her life a living hell. Perhaps it was his approach to seeing what people were made of, but it was odd and uncomfortable and as a result, we steered clear of him.
We had uncovered what we thought was a major software bug in our flagship product, and I had been working for several days to confirm the problem and particulars. This was a serious enough of an issue that because of its potential for problems in the installed base my manager encouraged me to bypass channels and share the findings with this feared executive. I screwed up the courage to approach his secretary and request an appointment. A few hours later, I had my chance and I explained the problem, answered questions and then faced his confidence test.
He basically indicated that he didn’t believe me and that my tests must have been conducted incorrectly. I politely but firmly reiterated that the tests were valid and the results clear. He then proceeded to step into my personal space and stare at me. I stared back, recognizing that a flinch or even a blink would show weakness. While time moved to a crawl during this contest of conviction, what seemed like five minutes to me was estimated at about 45 seconds from some interested observers.
I never blinked. He backed down and said, “OK, we’ll see if you are right. You can have my top resources to work with you on this problem.”
The moral to that story: I was armed with facts, confident in my approach and committed to getting this problem recognized and fixed. Any sign of weakness, including blinking, and I would have lost the moment. Any sign of arrogance and he would have been challenged to beat me down.
8 Suggestions for Developing and Projecting Confidence:
- First, for those that suffer from too much self-confidence…tending towards arrogance, you are in for a rough ride. Unless you back your superstar attitude with superstar performances, you are in for some corporate beat-downs. If you sense that few of the managers and executives perceive you as someone with a big “S” on your chest, it’s time to gain some feedback and get help.
- Results count, so let’s make a tacit assumption that you are doing everything in your power to pursue and deliver excellence in your results.
- Confidence is not synonymous with how much noise you make. As an executive, I particularly enjoyed finding the quietly confident professionals that didn’t feel compelled to showboat to gain attention.
- Your nonverbal behavior is critical. Estimates indicate that as much as 90% or more of your message is communicated by your non-verbal behaviors. A simple one is to make certain that you are employing good posture. (Mom was right, stand up and sit up straight!) Another is to ensure that when you talk to or listen to others, you are looking them in the eyes. Looking down or away is perceived as a sign of disinterest or lack of confidence.
- Learn and practice active listening skills. Acknowledge comments and input and ask clarifying questions. Show that you care about what the other person is saying.
- It’s OK to be nervous, just don’t show it. Learn to flip a switch when faced with executive encounters. Even though it may feel unnatural, after some practice and success, you will find that rather than fear the encounters, you welcome the chance to interact with executives.
- “I don’t know, but I will check and get back to you,” shows infinitely more self-confidence than either making something up or simply dropping you head in an admission of weakness.
- Plan your message for scheduled encounters and importantly, learn to communicate at the right level of detail.
The Take-Away
One of my favorite examples of this was from a client who avoided taking the elevators in her building for fear of running into executives. It seemed that every time she had an encounter she managed (in her opinion) to say something dumb. With a bit of coaching and practice and the self-confidence that comes from this practice, I can assure you that this individual is back to riding the elevators again.
Grow and appropriately showcase your self-confidence to grow your career.
Leave A Comment