Note from Art: Eric Rodriguez is the author of The Millennial View here at Management Excellence. His periodic posts provide insights into the career and business pursuits of a young professional striving to navigate our challenging world.
You sit at home looking at your smartphone, your palms are sweating, you wait in anticipation that the woman you met last Thursday will call you back. She told you she was interested, you said the right things, you shined your shoes, you gave off the right body language, and you shouldn’t worry because she told you she would call you today, and today’s Monday, right?
Monday passes, Tuesday ends, Wednesday’s over, and finally on Friday night you receive an email stating, “We’re sorry, but you have not been selected for the position.” It feels like you just got dumped and it’s moments like these that make you relive your worst breakups.
Job searching is like dating and I can relate to these feelings because for the past couple of months I have been trying to transition into a new career. It hasn’t been easy and sometimes it feels like I stand a better chance of scoring a date with Katy Perry than I would to land a new job – ok I’m exaggerating.
Here are four thoughts on why job searching is similar to dating:
Thought #1: If you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend job, the worst thing you can do is obsess over it.
According to CNN a job seeker can be out of work for as long as 39 weeks. It’s a long time, and if a job searcher constantly thinks about their unemployment it starts to plant negative thoughts about their ability to get a job.
Like dating, a job seeker has to put himself or herself out there and let employers know that they’re available. But, once someone has done all they can do in relation to a job search, it’s important to do something else to take their mind off the job search. The longer you think about your unemployment the less confident you’ll be in yourself. This shows on a date and it shows during an interview.
Thought #2: When you’re single looking for a job you may meet many different people employers before you find someone who wants to commit.
The majority of job seekers are not going to find the right career on the first try, although a few lucky people do. It’s just like dating, a job seeker is going to meet a lot of interesting people, and some job seekers may even picture themselves having a future with one of them.
It’s dangerous to think that one job or one person may indeed be the one you’re looking for. Interviews are like dates, they’re either fun or horrifying, but they don’t mean anything until a job seeker gives someone a solid commitment. A prospective employee can meet a lot of employers in their job search, but it’s important to keep on looking (even if there are future interviews scheduled) until the right job is offered.
Thought #3: Rejection sucks
When an employer doesn’t call when they say they will or when a job seeker receives a rejection letter it hurts. Nobody likes rejection, but that’s the practice companies engage in – only one person can get the job and like dating a company is going to go with the right fit.
The best way to deal with rejection is to accept it because nothing in life is ever guaranteed. Rejection is beyond our control, but one day the right job will present itself.
#4: The right person job is out there!
This thought comforts me when I am looking at classifieds on Indeed. There are many stories of people who have landed a good job, but it does take effort and a commitment to keep searching no matter how bleak things may seem. If a job seeker looks regularly they’re going to find something, it may not be in the immediate future, but they’ll get the right job.
Winston Churchill said, “Never, never, never give up!” this is the right attitude to take in both a job search and in life. Always remember when dating or looking for a job, that it’s usually the last person you meet before you find the right fit.
It is all psychological without a doubt! Focus on your happiness and happiness will come to you. Focus on your fears and more fear will follow. It’s the law! Excellent post!
Your so right my friend, It is a lot like dating. I was about to give up then I met Trish. Never, Never, Never give up, you’ll never know how close you could be to finding the right one.
Great post Art!!
Note from Art: Eric is the author of this one. Thanks, Bob for your enthusiastic response!
Thank you Eric for the great post.
My apology
Patricia, thanks for your response. The hardest part of the job search isn’t the fact that there are barely any jobs available, it’s the fact that it’s very hard to stay positive in a negative situation. I try to be positive to the best of my abilities in these challenging times; I hope some good luck will follow for myself and others who are looking for a new career.
Bob, apology accepted. 😉 I’m glad to hear that you met your wife when you thought all hope was lost, and it’s because you didn’t give up that you found her. It’s so much like the job search, if you don’t give up you’re going to find something; it might not be this week, month or year. But if people keep on looking they’ll find something when they least expect it, it’s a lot like meeting the right person, it just happens.