The short, important and seemingly harmless word, “I,” is a potentially lethal weapon of morale and credibility destruction when used for evil or ego instead of for good.
It’s so powerful in fact, that I envision a future world where leaders wear the equivalent of a dosimeter badge to warn leader and followers when the use of “I” is in danger of creating a toxic event…most likely a spillover of b.s. into the workplace.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of the word, “I,” and I find it incredibly useful when describing emotions and opinions, taking personal accountability and describing genuine personal contributions and successes. Those are all great uses of this seemingly benign but powerful personal descriptor.
My beef with “I” is not the term, but those that launch this personal and powerful word with both intensity and ferocity in an ego-driven attempt to assert themselves as superior to or smarter than everyone else in the room or on the planet. Some appear to do it by design, and for some leaders, they’ve been busy talking about themselves for so long that it’s become an involuntary reflex.
I hear the term most often coming from senior leaders describing themselves, their careers and their impact on situations. And you know, a deal of it may be true, although one of the interesting fall-outs from over-using the term is that after awhile, the user becomes less believable and more obnoxious. Like radiation, a certain amount of “I did,” and “I achieved,” and “I saved the world” is OK, but once it crosses that lethal level, the listeners get sick.
With apologies to Ayn Rand and her classic dystopian work, Anthem, where the protagonists struggle and ultimately risk it all to remember and to apply the term “I”, I’m counseling discretion here, not elimination.
8 Ways for the Leader to Effectively Use “I” in the Workplace:
1. Use “I” for accepting responsibility when things go horribly wrong. “I am responsible for this outcome.”
2. Use “I” for making and reinforcing personal professional commitments. “I own this one.” “I will help you.” “I will fix this.”
3. Use “I” as part of your active listening process. “I” is particularly effective when restating and seeking confirmation of your understanding of someone else’s perspective. “Here’s what I understand about your position on this situation. Do you agree with my understanding?”
4. Use “I” when receiving feedback. Again, as part of your active listening, translate the giver’s points into your own terms. Your use of “I” indicates that you understand and that you are working on internalizing the feedback.
5. Use “I” when sharing your vision for your career or, for your business. However, a vision for a business needs to move from “I” to “We” or risk being irrelevant.
6. Use “I” when asking for help.
7. Use “I” carefully when celebrating a victory. “I was smart enough to put the right people in the right roles and let them do their jobs.”
8. Use “I” when “we” comes off sounding like a weak attempt at corporate socialism. (Note: “we” is often and easily abused as well, but that’s a topic for another day.)
The Bottom-Line for Now
The worst abusers of “I” aim the term like a cruise missile intent on causing damage. “I” in many cases is a direct indication that there’s a “they” and “they” are most definitely wrong, evil, misguided or some combination of the above. And like all words, the term is a tool. Just wield it carefully and watch to make certain that you don’t create a spillover of “I”-driven b.s. in the workplace.
This is a very good list to keep in mind. Using “I” when taking responsibility it very underrated. More managers should be comfortable to accept responsibility for their employees. Generally if your employees fail, it’s because you failed as a manager and should be held responsible as well.
Jeff, thanks! The whole responsibility thing is definitely under-utilized. Best, -Art
Art great article! I think that using I too much can be extremely toxic and can result in people despising a leader’s leadership techniques. Instead I think it’s better to become a bigger user of we, “We did an awesome job” or “We need to complete this.” I think this makes people feel like they’re on a team and that everyone is accountable for the success or failure of a group. Also I agree with you that the use of I should only be used when a leader has to take responsibility or when it is absolutely warranted.
Thanks, Eric! As I highlight in the post, beware of the overuse of “we” as well. Funny thing this English language! Appreciate your reading and posting! -Art
Great posts, managers often forget how I can sound to their employees, these are great simlple rules to stay safe!
Thanks, Ashley! It’s subtle but important.
“I” think this is a very good blog post. That’s probably feedback, somebody has a good course about that.
Thanks, I love your writing.
Thanks, Andy. Still chuckling! And thanks for the feedback course plug. It can be found at http://www.buildingbetterleaders.com (shameless plug on my part!) -Art
Someone needs to tell this to Obama.
Hmmm. He might have been at least one of the leaders that crossed my mind for his use of this personal pronoun during the writing of this post.
Well done Art. I agree with you
[…] “The short, important and seemingly harmless word, “I,” is a potentially lethal weapon of … […]