Photo: One of the few childhood photos of my Dad. Dad is the boy in the center.
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I wrote recently about the journey and travails we navigated this past Summer as my Dad struggled and eventually passed. In this and one more planned article, I share some of the many life and leadership lessons I learned from this remarkable man.
The exercise has proven difficult. My first challenge was figuring out where to start and how to distill a lifetime down to some lessons that inspire(d) me and are helpful for you. And the next challenge was navigating the roller-coaster of emotions I encountered as I sorted through the anecdotes and memories.
For the former, his early life seems like the best place to start. It reads like something out of a Dickens novel. Upon reflection, his trying and traumatic early years significantly contributed to forming his character, leading to the principles he carried forward throughout his successful career, loving family and good life. I’ve often thought it was amazing he turned out the way he did, given his tough start.
As for the latter, well, the only way through the emotions for me is straight ahead. I suspect Dad would have agreed.
Past is Prologue
Dad had a fantastic ride. He was a self-made success, starting from difficult beginnings and ultimately succeeding at a high level while raising a loving family. Here’s a bit of his early story and the life and leadership lessons it taught me.
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Tough Beginnings
Dad entered the orphanage when he was five.
His mother died in childbirth with a younger brother, who was immediately given up for adoption. He was joined in the orphanage by one older and one younger sister. His oldest sibling, his brother, managed to avoid this fate and would play a significant role in keeping Dad anchored to family for the seven years of his life when visits from his father were reported as “Maybe twice a year.”
The younger sister was given up for adoption. Family lore suggests the same fate was in store for Dad; however, the Aunt who raised his father interceded. “We’ll keep the boy,” she reportedly commanded.
After a short stint in Angel Guardian Orphanage in Rogers Park, IL, — an experience that haunted Dad the rest of his life — the Aunt referenced above made sure to shift him and two siblings to the Illinois Children’s Home & Aid Society in Evanston, IL. The location had a good reputation and was managed by recent veterans fresh out of World War II and a senior leader from the Roosevelt administration.
When Angels Intercede
Dad remained in the home until his father remarried, and his new stepmother pulled him out and gave him a home. This woman, a true angel on earth, also secured a revolutionary eye surgery for Dad’s severely crossed eyes. Having little money to pay for this surgery, Dad’s stepmom convinced the surgeon to do it for free. The results were positive, and while Dad had some eye damage, he was no longer affected by the crossed eyes. Coincidentally, the surgeon gave Dad free eye care for as long as he remained in practice.
I’m convinced Dad’s stepmother changed the course of his life. For someone who had been cast away and left on his own, albeit in a decent institution, her kindness and love helped my Dad let go of whatever bitterness and pain he might have reasonably felt about being abandoned. The eye surgeon’s kindness helped as well. These two individuals changed a life, reminding each of us that our actions ripple across decades for those we encounter.
Surviving without a Safety Net
Dad figured out early that there was no one looking out for him. He needed to survive on his own. His stories from this era — post World War II through approximately 1951 — are filled with anecdotes of scrounging and striving to earn money.
Dad talked with pride about his drive to be entrepreneurial. He had no resources, and no one was there to give him anything. Through odd jobs, finding glass soda bottles to recycle, and running errands, he saved and bought a bicycle. He had his eyes on one that was sturdy and fit for his intended purpose. The shop owner let Dad buy it on layaway. One year later, it was his.
This bicycle changed his life.
Dominating the Local Grocery Delivery Scene on a Bicycle
Armed with a form of transportation and now out of the orphanage, Dad expanded his work to delivering groceries for a variety of small neighborhood grocers in the area around Winnemac Park in Chicago. At one of those local grocery stores, Bill’s West-Win at Western and Winnemac in Chicago, Dad met the owner’s daughter, Carol. That relationship with my future mother lasted from his age of 13 until she passed in 2007.
Dad’s goal was always to be the most productive delivery boy, and of course, to earn the best tips. In this era of heavy cases of glass soda bottles and glass milk bottles, Dad described his best tipping customers as those living on the third floors of their Chicago apartment buildings.
Dad labored daily for multiple independent store owners, striving to be the one they could depend upon with their best customers. His work ethic translated to increasing financial independence. He described the work and his results as crucial to teaching him “I could do anything I set my mind on” attitude.
An occupational hazard of grocery delivery via bicycle included bottles of soda smashing together and breaking, milk bottles bursting, and regular bent front axles on his bike. Dad carried a spare axle with him and a wrench for needed repairs. I always admired the presence of mind to have that spare axle. Who thinks of that?
One fall after a delivery resulted in a broken arm. As he reported, the bone was sticking out, his bike was inoperable, and there was no one around to help. He managed to pick up the bicycle with his good arm, drape it on his shoulder, and walk to a local hospital over a mile away. There was no leaving the bike behind. After all, this was his means of production.
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Dropping Out, Starting a Family, and Starting on the Lowest Rung of the Factory
After Dad passed, I spoke with two of his childhood friends. I asked them why Dad dropped out of high school (he ultimately earned a GED), and the answer was quick: “To make money.” Dad was on the verge of getting married, and the money was good. Bicycle delivery had given way to auto delivery. One of the store owners trusted him to use his car long before Dad had a formal driver’s license. Other than knocking over a small mountain of bottles stacked for deposit, Dad managed to increase his effectiveness and efficiency and the money kept flowing.
As marriage loomed — a marriage that his future father-in-law disapproved of — Dad shifted his employment to a small family-owned chemical packaging facility, working directly for a WWII veteran and mechanic who was responsible for “keeping the armor moving” in Europe.
Dad described his interview with Job, the plant manager who was repairing a light in the plant as, “Grab this wire and hold it until I tell you to let go.” After a few seconds of this self-induced shock, Job said, “You’re hired.” Sidenote: I knew Job, and many years after this alleged interview, I worked in the plant while he was there. I don’t doubt the story for a second. Applying the same work ethic and tenacity from his grocery delivery days, Dad quickly gained the trust of Job and the team in the plant and was on his way to a good blue-collar living.
An Inflection Point Looms
I’ll leave this part of his life behind with a conversation I remember Mom and Dad having in their first home. I was maybe five, and I remember them talking seriously about an opportunity Dad had at the company. His words: “If I take this job in the office, I’ll have to take a pay cut. I’m making good money in the plant. I’m not sure it’s worth the risk.”
I’ll share what happened in the next part of this series.
Extracting the Golden Life and Leadership Lessons from Dad’s Tough Start
Here are just a few of the life and leadership lessons from Dad’s early life that are imprinted on my mind.
1. There’s nothing fair about the cards we are sometimes dealt.
It’s how we deal with them that forms our character and sets our course.
2. Bitterness can consume you. Don’t let it win.
Dad retained no bitterness toward his circumstances or his father, who had placed him and his siblings in the orphanage. I know that sending the kids to orphanages wasn’t uncommon in that era. His Dad had to make a living. Nonetheless, it would have been easy for him to grow bitter. He didn’t let it derail his drive to survive and thrive.
3. Resourcefulness is a superpower.
For his whole life, Dad believed he could do anything he set his mind on. He did. Problems were just things to be solved, whether it involved having no money or figuring out how to engineer a chemical packaging facility. Mechanically, he showed what he learned from Job. Dad could fix everything. By contrast, I’m a tenacious, borderline hack who is thankful every day for YouTube when confronting annoying home projects.
4. Tenacity is essential for success.
Dad was the most tenacious person I’ve ever known. As a kid working with Dad on projects or lamenting challenging school assignments, he offered no exit ramps other than to work harder, think harder, and keep moving forward. He brought an end to more than a few pity parties. I took his tenacity with me into my career, and it serves me well.
5. Doubters are everywhere. Harness their doubt.
His future father-in-law doubted him. Another relative offered, “You’ll never amount to anything.” His boss, the owner of the company, once said when reviewing the work on a significant expansion and automation initiative, “I sure hope you know what you are doing.” Dad found the energy to succeed despite the doubters’ words.
6. Sometimes we all need help.
Dad’s stepmom was that angel who did more than pull him from the orphanage. Her advocacy and example changed Dad’s outlook on life and put the finishing touches on a character that was simultaneously motivated, tenacious, honest, and incredibly helpful and supportive. Be humble enough to know that sometimes you need help. And then remember to pay it forward.
The Bottom Line for Now
If life is baseball, Dad was born with two outs in the ninth, down a few runs, and no hope in sight. What he learned the hard way during his early days served him well in the crucial next stage of his life.
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Up Next
- Risk-taking lessons from Dad
- “Be a leader, not a follower”
- Navigating workplace disasters
- What I learned working with and watching my Dad lead.
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