0:01:26 Apologies -- I will come back in a few minutes. BTW -- you both look great! Sue 0:01:38 Thanks Sue! 0:05:39 Where is the view behind you? 0:06:42 Beautiful! 0:09:35 art@artpetty.com 0:09:41 Hi Art, hello, everyone! Happy Friday 0:09:53 Great to be here! 0:14:30 What's at stake here? 0:14:48 how well Amy handles herself 0:14:58 Her reputation 0:15:04 Maintaining professionalism 0:15:09 reputation and composure 0:15:15 A chance to be the bigger person 0:15:27 Credibility 0:15:37 The future of the project 0:15:47 Any surpport? 0:16:06 If you're in Amy's shoes what is your reaction? 0:16:10 A solution 0:16:11 I don't know if Bob's creditability is at risk... those types never seem to suffer consequences for being a jerk 0:16:15 That's a great question BOB! 0:16:35 surprise. Didn't expect that reaction 0:16:39 Knowing Bob's past, she should not be surprised. Validate with I'm glad you asked. 0:16:44 Anger 0:16:49 If it were me... it is like the temper button is pushed 0:16:56 Story telling tiem 0:17:11 But if you know the audience and the culture...you might expect this from people like bob... 0:17:12 She should have exopects this from Bob 0:17:45 In your face accusations 0:17:47 What types of communication situations are the most stressful for you? 0:18:14 Dealing with a narcissistic boss or colleague. 0:18:16 When someone surprises me with aggression or a lie 0:18:38 Being in a highly technical field, its people who don't really underatsn the facvts 0:18:39 Speaking to those that belittle you while communicating 0:19:00 this type of scenario is pretty good... anything attacking honesty, credibility, sneaker underhanded folks 0:21:38 What is your reaction? 0:21:39 Be careful 0:21:41 Stop and gasp 0:21:41 OMG 0:21:45 run 0:21:45 Don't move, freeze 0:21:46 Being a Leo...hello family member... 0:22:25 How's the rest of your day? 0:22:32 contemplative 0:22:33 nervous and anxiety kicks in 0:22:35 A harvest day? 0:22:36 on edge 0:22:36 Vary wary 0:22:37 a bit worrisome 0:22:38 anxious 0:22:38 tense 0:22:39 Preoccupied 0:22:40 less productive because of nerves and anxiety 0:22:40 Unsettled to say the least. 0:22:40 Really! 0:22:47 wondering what I will be surprised with 0:22:49 things that make you go hmmmmm 0:23:18 It depends on the relationship you have as to how you might feel. 0:24:24 How do these sudden, stressful challenging communication situations affect you? 0:24:42 My thoughts race 0:24:48 I don't think straight 0:24:57 I take a deep breathe 0:25:00 narrow my thinking 0:25:09 distracted, can't articulate thoughts well 0:26:30 https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Along-Anyone-Difficult-People/dp/B0BDJBD3KP/ 0:27:38 https://hbr.org/2022/09/how-to-navigate-conflict-with-a-coworker 0:28:56 What do we do? 0:31:58 Wouldn't that just feed his ego and get him what Bob wants? 0:32:05 Pass the popcorn! 0:32:05 What is going on with the audience? 0:32:25 how will bob respond 0:32:26 audience is waiting to see how Amy will respond; they are uncomfortable 0:32:27 anticipating her response 0:32:29 Will Amy rise to the occasion? 0:32:30 It puts the attention on Bob, which is what he wants 0:32:58 it is the eyes going back and forth...waiting with bated breath to see the volley 0:34:02 what do you think of Amy's response? 0:34:03 Excellent response. 0:34:04 Super, I love it. Classy, kind, generous 0:34:06 great response 0:34:06 Well done and very effective. 0:34:09 The best response 0:34:15 yes - Professional 0:34:18 Validating 0:34:18 She maintained her professionalism 0:34:33 Highlighted lessons learned 0:34:38 took control with high road and turned the conversation around 0:34:44 I know she is the bigger person, but it could also say one is a pushover... doormat. I have used that approach … Amy's but it failed... I was told I was a doormat 0:35:08 She made everyone see how crappy he behaved. 0:35:24 How you deliver the message is also important. 0:35:44 Great point Paul! 0:36:45 https://www.amazon.com/Just-Listen-Discover-Getting-Absolutely/dp/0814436471/ 0:36:53 Ditto Juli, Amy doing the right thing doesn’t guarantee a specific outcome. There are a lot of Bobs and often they’re not just tolerated they’re encouraged. 0:37:53 I use a physical feature for refocusing - like a graphic or photo that I can look at while taking a deep breath to calm myself. 0:38:13 https://artpetty.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/PersonalActiveReset-2023.pdf 0:38:43 What's your reaction statement? 0:38:48 Just breathe. 0:39:11 Here we go. 0:39:23 I got this 0:39:24 Pause 0:39:54 A mental picture of a stop sign. 0:40:00 What's your internal pressure release statement? 0:40:30 This isn't Personal 0:40:31 Re-focus. 0:40:42 How can I reframe this 0:41:12 Be courageous, respectful, and kind 0:41:15 What would I do if my kids were watching? 0:41:26 Assume positive intent 0:41:32 Hit the mental reset button 0:41:48 Relax your shoulders 0:41:54 What do you need to do to manager your body/breathing? 0:41:56 Take a deep breath 0:41:58 Just Breathe 0:41:59 Cut to 10 and breathe 0:42:07 count** 0:42:08 Smile (at least don't frown) 0:42:38 Take a sip of a drink 0:42:47 Feet on ground, note two things around me, choose my response 0:43:03 Remind yourself to calm down. 0:43:55 What is your internal empathy statement? 0:44:15 You've got this. 0:44:22 What his/her real agenda? 0:44:33 Everyone is going through a battle I know nothing about. Be kind, always 0:44:44 They don't know what you know 0:45:21 What do you want to do to improve the situation? 0:45:23 De-escalate 0:45:42 Assume positive intent. 0:48:01 https://artpetty.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/PersonalActiveReset-2023.pdf 0:49:30 Processors, what are your ideas for success strategies? 0:49:41 ask some questions 0:49:50 Be open and explicit — say, “I’m taking all this in and am processing…" 0:49:56 Win the audience first 0:50:11 I have developed a rolodex of responses for different types of stressful situations, then practice them so I can feel more confident in responding 0:50:18 Highlight something someone said as helpful or valuable 0:50:24 Ask question to audience 0:50:38 Listen to understand, ask questions to confirm it 0:53:53 questions/comments or observations? Do you think you can use it? 0:53:56 I like changing the medium. Great suggestion. 0:54:04 I have, thanks to Art 0:54:04 yes great tools 0:54:13 I like that this process buys a few seconds of time to regroup and yes, I think it is useable in many situations 0:54:14 I love the time is a tool reminder. I need to get better at that 0:55:08 The more prepared you are the less affected you will be. 0:55:21 In extreme scenarios (yelling at me), I've calmly said, "This doesn't seem like a good time to talk. When you're ready, let me know." 0:55:22 This really works! 0:55:41 And it takes a lot of deliberate practice 0:56:28 HA! 0:56:38 https://artpetty.mykajabi.com/leadership-caffeine-jam-session-21 0:58:52 https://artpetty.samcart.com/products/manager-dev-program/ 0:59:01 Thank you. Great info and will be "practicing" this week-end! 0:59:02 https://artpetty.samcart.com/products/six-hour-career-energize-copy/ 0:59:03 Thank you! 0:59:07 Thank you!!! 0:59:12 Thanks ! 0:59:13 Thanks 0:59:14 Thanks Art!! 0:59:19 thank you 0:59:20 Thanks, this was very insightful and useful. 0:59:20 Thanks 0:59:21 Thank you! 0:59:21 Great Weekend to all! 0:59:23 Thanks so mcuh 0:59:24 Thank you!! 0:59:24 Thank you from sunny Wisconsin 0:59:33 Thanks Art--good practical info'