Enjoy Being Part of the Gang? Better Not Lead.

One of the rude awakenings for leaders promoted from within a team is the uncomfortable recognition that the easy camaraderie of the pre-promotion days immediately gives way to an awkward distancing of relationships.

Congratulations on your promotion.  Oh, and you’re no longer part of the gang!

I’ve counseled early career leaders on this topic and one of the most difficult parts of their transition from team member to team leader is the sudden feeling of loneliness.

“I’m still the same person,” they tell me emphatically. “I can separate work from the social discussions at lunch or over a beer after work,” they add.

“Yes you are,” and “No you cannot,” I respond.

The bad news is that close “out of work” relationships (let’s stop at friendships and skip the Pandora’s box of workplace romances for now) will also change. Maybe not immediately, but at some point, you will make a decision that will upset your friend(s) and the reality of your position will become painfully visible to all parties.

The good news is that you’ll go to lunch again…with your team members and also with your new peers. However, it will never be the same. As a leader, you are no longer part of the gang. That is as it should be.

Here are a few reasons why:

  • You now have a vote…in some cases a big vote in the fortunes of your colleagues. From simple decisions on assignments and projects to large decisions on promotions and even terminations, you now have influence over the lives of your colleagues.
  • See the point above.  Everyone knows it.
  • Your new role has very explicit responsibilities and a degree of objectivity is required for successful execution of your role.
  • You must be comfortable supporting and coaching your team members, and that includes conducting tough discussions. While some might argue that this is what friends are for, let’s face it, it is remarkably awkward to have to tell your friend that her behavior is impacting her career and the output of the team and here’s how it needs to change.
  • You need to earn respect and grow your credibility as a leader. That’s not happening at the bar after work or as you sit around and join the group commiseration over the bad habits of the boss. Hey, you’re the boss!
  • You’ve taken a step in your career. Like leaving the comfort of high school and home for the foreign experience of college, you’ve embarked on a new journey for destinations unknown. Change is part of the equation.

The Bottom-Line:

I will reiterate that you can still find fun and cultivate effective professional relationships as a leader, and of course, you should. However, if this role is right for you, it’s necessary to leave behind some of the vestiges of your early career. One is being part of the gang.

As a postscript, it’s not uncommon to run into more experienced managers that still try to play the “Hey, I’m just a person here, not your boss” card, and it always smells rotten to me. Don’t believe them. I’ve known more than a few people that ended up on the wrong side of their “buddy’s” decision and wondered what hit them.

Want to command respect as a leader. Start acting like one from day one.

The August Leadership Development Carnival

It is always fun to be part of the Leadership Development Carnivals, because it gives me a chance to hang out with some very accomplished leadership bloggers and thought leaders. I learn something of value from these great professionals every time, and I never mind that I benefit from being in their company!

This month’s issue of the Leadership Development Carnival is hosted at Intentional Leadership, the home of Mary Jo Asmus, one of my must-read favorites for her wisdom, insights and the fact that she exudes professionalism and that “all around great person” in everything that she writes.  I also follow Mary Jo on Twitter.

My post at this month’s Carnival is one that struck a chord with more than a few people: “Things I Wish People Would Have Told Me When I Became a Leader.” If you’ve already read that post, don’t let that stop you from clicking over and checking out the long list of great bloggers and greater content.   There’s something to inspire, educate and motivate for everyone.

Thanks Mary Jo for hosting!  Now, I’ve got to quit writing and start reading.  So much great content…!

A Follow-Up to My “Evil Leaders” post: Your Firm’s Values Have No Teeth

My recent post, “Why Do Evil Leaders Flourish in Some Organizations” struck a chord or at least a nerve for many, as the many insightful comments quickly outstripped the value of the original post.  Thanks to all that jumped in and shared on this topic.

On the heels of what turned out to be a deluge of good thoughts on why some leaders and some people get away with less than agreeable (to the rest of us) behaviors in the workplace, I keep coming back to the topic of Values as a core issue.

Some people watch birds and some watch people, and in one of my odd quirks, I watch values.  Rather, I have made it a habit to ask people about their firm’s values and the role that those values play in defining acceptable and unacceptable behavior inside organizations.

The results of my informal polling as well as my formal surveying (as part of culture assessments) indicates that for many organizations, values exist as nice statements in a frame with little meaning or use in day-to-day business dealings.  Based on my own travels, firms where values are both clear and they are connected in people’s minds to acceptable and unacceptable forms of behavior are the minority.

In a fascinating article on the aberrant cultures in many law firms (please withhold your chuckles), author David Maister offers the following regarding values:

“The single biggest source of trust in an organization occurs when everyone can be depended upon to act in accordance with a commonly held, strictly observed set of principles. Examples of such principles are “Our clients’ interests always come first; if we serve our clients well, our own success will follow” and “We have no room for those who put their personal interests ahead of the interests of the firm and its clients.” (Both of these, by the way, are from Goldman Sachs.)

It is important to note that commercial benefits do not come simply from believing in or encouraging these principles but from actually achieving an organization where partner behavior is always consistent with them. When this is the case, less time is wasted in internal negotiations and posturing, strategies are implemented, and true teamwork results.”

And the payoff:

“Law firms appear unable to achieve this level of ideological consistency. They will buy into principles—firms can have very high ideals as long as they remain ideals—but they have difficulty with the concept of enforcement. Firms are seemingly willing to adopt strategies and statements of values and mission, but are usually unwilling to specify what the penalty would be for noncompliance. Not surprisingly, that rarely results in effective implementation.”

Mr. Maister sums up very eloquently the contradiction between having principles and enforcing principles in law firms.  Unfortunately, this is the same contradiction that exists in many and perhaps most organizations. The values have no teeth.

Can We Change?

A good friend of mine read the “Evil Leaders” post the other day and offered the depressing comment that sounded something like this: “Doesn’t it ever bother you that you write and teach all of these good things about leadership and values and at the end of the day, none of it makes a difference and human nature will still allow the dysfunctional or evil leaders to flourish.”

If this were an audio blog, the sound you hear would be a man screaming.

While I’ll grudgingly allow that changing human nature may be outside of scope, I have complete faith that the right behaviors can be encouraged and the wrong behaviors discouraged by putting teeth into a firm’s values.  Of course, first, someone has to send the firm’s leaders the memos that values count.

One of my readers and a good colleague from a former life is responsible for my values-obsession.  We taught a workshop to our first-time supervisors and leaders on how to leverage the values as a powerful leadership tool.  It was fascinating to watch the lights come on as these early-career leaders understood the power of values in dealing with topics like recruiting, managing conflict, encouraging development and driving innovation. 

If just one of those leaders from that first group carries that philosophy forward to her future teams and organizations, and ensures that the values have meaning and teeth, we will have made a difference.

The Bottom-Line for Now:

In case you are like my friend and just a bit cynical on our ability to change, consider the power of the still-forming backlash to the excesses and abuses of leadership and the complete lack of values and character that have combined to create the mess that we all find ourselves swimming in today.  My money is on a surge in the value of Values.  

What about you?  Without looking at the frame on the wall in the conference room, what are your firm’s values?  When was the last time you actually thought about actively applying those values to your tough decisions?

It’s not too late to start.

 

Fresh Voices in Management Excellence: Greg Strouse and His Stories, Advice and Opinions on Working, Managing and Surviving the Corporate World

Note from Art, in proof that great minds think alike, I woke up, crafted today’s post and then read Greg’s latest only to see that he had referenced me.  While this may look like a well-orchestrated mutual admiration campaign, I can assure you that it was purely coincidental.  Don’t let his questionable taste in liking my blog detract from his remarkable writing!

Searching through the sea of business and leadership blogs has become a bit like a treasure hunt. I enjoy searching for great voices that have not yet jumped out of the search engines and on to everyone’s screen.  Given the umpteen gazillion blogs in the world, it’s not surprising that there are some remarkable voices laboring away in the background.  

One of those that deserves to be front and center is Greg Strouse’s Tales from an XOD, Stories, Advice and Opinions on Working, Managing and Surviving the Corporate World.

A little background.  Greg uses the term XOD as short for Executive on Demand, which is how he characterizes his professional self.  I met Greg on the phone a couple of years ago when he started his blog and was impressed.  He’s a great, straight-shooting, creative and super-experienced professional with an easy to read, entertaining and wisdom packed approach to writing. 

For some reason I lost track of Greg and his blog for a period of time, and it was my good fortune to reconnect with him recently.  I went through a year’s worth of his weekly posts and kicked myself for missing out on these.  Frankly, I’m just a bit jealous that he’s a better writer than I am and clearly a lot funnier as well!

I encourage you to take some time to check out Greg’s work at Tales from an XOD and make certain to subscribe.  We’ll all be wiser and feel a bit better about the world in the process. 

Some of my favorite, recent posts from Greg:

“You’re Kidding Me, Right, where he engages with an airline representative on the use of his middle name in a scene that could easily have been written into a Seinfeld script and then follows it up with another brilliant example from yet another inept airline.

“Death to Smoochy, tackles the topic of the current “economic conditions” with another fascinating discussion with his bank and some timely suggestions for businesses that are sleepwalking through this time. 

“Logo Your Way to Success, where Greg suggests (tongue in cheek) that perhaps the Detroit Lions might reverse their winless ways by changing their logo.

“Don’t Know Everything” and Hey Do You Still Make that Killer Meatloaf” offer up some great advice for leaders, owners and entrepreneurs.

OK, I could keep going on here, but I will leave the joy of discovery to you.  I find it hard to quit reading Greg’s posts, both for the wit and for the great lessons, quotes and examples.  I hope that you enjoy his work as much as I do, and don’t forget to take the time to let me…and more importantly, let Greg know what you think.

Celebrating a Leadership Milestone at the Three Star Leadership Blog

I will return next Monday with my Leadership Caffeine for the New Week series.  Today is an opportunity to celebrate post number 1,000 by Wally Bock at the Three Star Leadership blog.  

Many of you are readers and subscribers of Three Star Leadership, but on the off chance that you have not benefited from Wally’s consistently outstanding and practical content for this profession, his blog is a must on your professional development to-do list.

Reaching the 1,000 post level is a milestone for any blogger, but reaching that lofty  number with 1,000 high quality posts, book reviews and resource references is truly remarkable.  Great job Wally, and thanks so much for inviting me to participate with my own two-cents worth in your 1,000th post.  Can’t wait for the next thousand!

So instead of my usual jolt of Leadership Caffeine, click over to Three Star Leadership and take a look at what some fellow friends and bloggers have to offer you in the form of Tips and Resources on this great occasion. Oh, and don’t blame me if you end up digging into Wally’s other 999 great posts.  It will be time well spent!

-Art