I’ve been harping on personal responsibility at least once per week recently, and can’t quite get it out of my system. I’m bombarded daily with too many examples of people that fail to take responsibility for their actions and in the process, often stop one step short of success.
One of my as yet unresolved points of personal inquiry (and wonder), involves those individuals in businesses and in graduate and undergraduate classes that are seemingly armed with their fair share of intellectual gifts and raw capabilities, but that still manage to metaphorically shoot themselves in one or both feet with alarming regularity. Or, if you prefer this visual, they regularly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!
My question: “What’s up with you people?”
My advice: “Cut it out!”
Jim Collins, the author of Good to Great and most recently, How the Mighty Fall, suggests that greatness is not a function of circumstances, but rather the result of a series of conscious choices. While Collins is referencing organizations in his point, the same shoe fits for individuals. Or at least the shoe would fit, if people didn’t have their feet wrapped in bandages from all of the foot-shooting going on in the workplace and in classrooms.
All Too-Common Examples:
- Adult students everywhere that don’t show up on time, don’t complete work and don’t participate. What are you paying for? What do you hope to get out of the experience? Jump in, do the work, participate and you’ll learn a lot more and you actually might find the experience enjoyable.
- Individuals that believe that bigger forces are working against them. I hear some remarkable excuses from otherwise smart people. The excuses generally have nothing to do with their own personal failings, and everything to do with a series of events that conspired to defeat them for the task in question. You sound like an idiot making these excuses. Give it up.
- Everyone in the business environment that has 20:20 vision that allows them to see with remarkable clarity the faults of their team members and colleagues. It seems like a big mirror is in order here. If these people don’t start looking in it first before looking around for those to blame, perhaps someone should “metaphorically” hit them over the head with it.
- The Apologists that actually seem to accept personal responsibility and apologize profusely for their transgressions. Every week. Over and over again. And again. Hey, guess what. After the first apology, we all know that we’re dealing with a serial apologizer who uses this tool as part of their survival strategy. Given a little time, you become transparent to all of us.
The Bottom-Line:
You are in control of your own actions. You decide every day and with every activity to be successful or to fail. I respect your right to decide to fail, but don’t blame fate, the forces, everyone else and for crying out loud, quit apologizing every time you decide to fail. And if the failure track is getting old, why don’t you decide to succeed next time…and then do what it takes to make it happen. It actually takes less energy and feels a lot better than all of the other failure-coping approaches that you apply.
Have been looking for a smart, direct, and respectful article to provide to a colleague whose daily “I’m sorry” continues, no matter what I say! This will help, glad my other colleague, Dr. Bret, recommended you!
Kathleen, thanks for reading and use the post in good health! And any friend of Bret’s is a friend of mine. Thanks for being here. -Art
Thanks for the no-nonsense post.
In my industry (web development) if you don’t embrace your personal responsibility to keep up with fast-changing trends and practices, you will find yourself quickly unemployed. The days are long gone when professionals could blame others for not providing adequate training or information. Today, with the unrelenting expansion of the web, self-teaching is the standard and the norm.
On the bright side, who would have thought the simple trait of personal responsibility could give you a leg up over so many people?
Brandon, thanks for sharing! Agreed on all counts and count me as one of those that is amazed that the simple but critical trait of personal responsibility is most definitely an advantage for you. -Art
Hi Art, you are delighting us (your customers/readers) again with your thoughts, and thank you very much for that, but personally this post is really shooting me not in one but in both feet as I know what it is like being asking for apologies when failing at something be it at work, home or wherever. Certainly we need to quit making up excuses and apologizing every time we fail at our commitments as it clearly conveys a message that we have not still grasped the sense of professionalism. Professionalism is a powerful force, if we commit to it we send a sign of personal leadership maturity.
Javier, wise words and thoughts on your part! Thanks as always for your kind responses. -Art
Another good one Art,
Taking responsibility takes courage, and yes work. Once again I think we as humans find it easier to look at the outside for blame instead finding the inner challenge that will move us forward. When you look at the most successful people they have this inner drive that won’t quit, even in the face of great adversity. If fact adversity is often the driving force for greater success.
Art–I so appreciate your straight-up, no holding back language. Too often people who are giving advice cover this type of stuff up with candy coatings and caramel topping that no one gets their message.
In mid-November, our company brought on a new CEO on board. During his first team meeting introducing himself, he said, “You need to remember three words: Empowerment, Responsibility and Accountability.”
I took those words to heart and found at first I was nervous. But after I looked into my own mirror, I realized that I had nothing to fear as that is how I operate in all aspects of my life and relationships–work, parenting, friends and familly.
Case in point–our CEO told us not to mention a certain strategy to NO one. He was only informing us and it wasn’t public knowledge. During a heated conversation with one of my clients, I mentioned this strategy. I took a calculated risk. When my CEO later asked me about what happened, I admitted my various mistakes. By taking responsibility and being willing to be held accountable, I did NOT get fired. I didn’t make excuses. I didn’t try to hide it. I didn’t skip over it. He already knew but was testing me to see how I report to him.
Yes, I was scared that I would be packing up my desk. But having a high level of integrity kept me from the chopping block and I could walk out of his office knowing I spoke the truth. There was no need to conspire with my co-workers to “cover” up my mistakes. My self-respect went up along with respect with my co-workers.
I hope others can see how being straight, despite the fear, can actually save you.
Respectfully,
Elaine Hirt
Elaine, thank you for sharing an outstanding example of someone (you) accepting personal responsibility for their actions. You faced a pivotal moment in the CEO’s office, and I’m sure we can all imagine the stress as well as the thoughts that would have run through our own minds. Kudos on your handling of the situation, and again, thanks for sharing that excellent example!
Bob, great way to describe the “rocket fuel” that powers so many high achievers!
-Art
In my opinion the lack of personal responsibility is one of, if not the most important reasons why the United States is in trouble. The lack of responsibility from an early age all the way through adulthood has become common practice. Parents constantly making excuses for there childrens behavior to school teachers and administrators. Employees lying at work to there boss’s so they don’t appear to be poor workers. Everyone wants to point the finger if they fail. I am trying extremely hard to always point the finger at myself. It’s hard to do, especially at work where everyone wants to impress other people. You are a stronger person if you blame yourself and not others.
Hi Art,
Just the four examples you provide seem very common indeed. I’ll leave myself out of it, although I’m sure I occasionally fall into one of those categories when I don’t meet my goals. However, it’s always interesting to see where my peers put the blame when things go wrong. One trait, which I see a lot, is that people plod along claiming everything is fine, and they are on track to meet schedule – but when the deadlines hit, they are unable to meet them and have a whole slew of reasons why.
It’s very important to be transparent and let others know that you’re having trouble as early as possible, whether you place the blame on yourself or others. I suppose that could fit into your mantra here – choosing to succeed. Part of that choice may require asking for help from time to time. Thanks,
Scott Waters
Art,
i agree with most of the stuff you are saying here except I don’t know how to feel about “Individuals that believe that bigger forces are working against them”. I feel like sometimes these individuals could be right when complaining about the system as a whole. Some might feel too overwhelmed when it comes to changing the system they are in based on the authorities they have been given to.
Should we not listen to these individuals and take what they say as a feedback to improve the system?
Thanks,
Ali
Spot on as usual Art. And the “cut it out” advice is solid. Unfortunately few of them will think it pertains to them.
Greg, always great to see your comments here. Yes, and sadly, you are right.
Ali, my reference is focused more on the locus of control issue. I have no qualms if they highlight the flaws in the system and ideas to fix them/it.
Scott, I know the same character that you are referencing. This happens with individuals and entire teams in the project management world. Thanks for reminding me.
Andrew, nice take on the situation. Thank you all for adding your comments and ideas! -Art
I like to write down pithy quotes to inspire and motivate me — everything from Seneca’s “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult” to Jeffrey Pfeffer’s “Doing means learning. Learning means mistakes.” (I archived these quotes on my Palm Treo 680 so I could quickly refer to them … now that I’ve switched to an Android phone I need to figure out how to transfer them over!) I wrote down TWO quotes from this post: the Jim Collins quote and your “Why don’t you try to succeed next time?”