http://blog.threestarleadership.com/2009/12/09/12909-midweek-look-at-the-independent-business-blogs.aspx

Wally Bock

Every week I select five excellent posts from this week’s independent business blogs. This week, I’m pointing you to posts on the evil dashboards do, bad leadership days, the “toddler” audit, a cowardly manager’s guide to acting cowardly, and job …

Best

Dorothy

You raise a very compelling personal issue. If I distance myself from some of my attempts at light-hearted coping suggestions in the post, I certainly can relate to having feelings of consternation over things that have gone wrong…albeit things outside of my direct control. I’m not sure my feeling is one of “guilt” as much as frustration and a sense of helplessness, but I absolutely respect your use of the term. To me it shows your quality as a professional and a human. Thanks for the thought-provoking comment! -Art

Steve, I love the two additional “rules” for coping! -Thanks.

Deb, wise advice and thanks for the heads up on the always fascinating topic of Emotional Intelligence.

Kimba and Greg, thanks for finding a great use for the post. And Greg, I love the “temporary inconvenience” perspective from your father-in-law. Still chuckling over his qualification of that statement when his grandchild arrived on the scene.

Thanks to all! -Art

Thanks for the nice article. Mostly I agree.

One aspect which affects me, and I see it affecting some in friends circle as well is this. A guilt feeling.

The result (negative) is something just not in your hands. Your customer is going through tough times and hence there is impact on your business; or something similar, which you have no control on and couldn’t have influenced. When these happen, although part of you knows you couldn’t have done any thing to avoid the situation, you still are left feeling hugely guilty. It is not so much about thinking of hanging up the boots, or self-pity either, but more a concern for the well-being of the organization, which makes you worry that you might be the reason, and a self-doubt whether you have lost your edge. You start wondering if someone else would have done better, and differently.

It isn’t easy to shrug off, it isn’t easy to say world and life goes on, because it all looks self-serving.

Best Regards

One additional thought, if all else fails, I harken back to a saying my father-in-law taught me (when he was still an officer at GE) – “Temporary inconvenience”. Of course, he took me aside when our first child was born and clarified that this even was not, in fact, a “temporary” inconvenience, but the thought has been helpful on numerous other occasions.

Perhaps as leaders we can work on our emotional intelligence to help us process and adjust our reactions to a challenging leadership situation. I just finished reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Bradberry and Greaves, and would recommend it to anyone looking for a fast read that comes with a simple on-line assessment and many practical insights and suggestions for improving your EI.

Someone mentioned blend of humour and reality….from my point of view, “real life is funnier than fiction” and “if you can’t laugh what can you do” are two important rules that explain why this post is so good!

Excellent work!

I especially like how you tell the story: I was feeling bad for our “leader” (while thinking back to similar times), some comic relief, and then uplifting solutions that brought a wonderful smile to my face!

What you describe is what happens every day (maybe not on the same day!) and that keeping a positive and honest outlook will really show your true leadership. I was in a tough spot once, and a True Leader gave me this advice: “The world is still turning and we are still alive! How bad can this really be?” That was a valuable lesson in perspective.

Of course my favorite is #6: “Be thankful for feedback that says that you can improve. At least someone cares.” All feedback is valuable feedback as it helps propel us forward! It sometimes takes time to see its benefits but will be remembered if it’s effective.

Wonderful!
Sonia

Best, Art

You allude to it in #4, but it’s really important for people to have a support system. Someone who can encourage them when they have to deal with the types of challenges on your list, to provide a balanced perspective and remind them of other occasions when they’ve faced adversity and prevailed.

We recently experienced #5 (lost a very valuable employee) in our own company, moved instantly to acceptance and “find a new person” mode and ended up hiring someone who brings an even stronger skill set for what we need going forward. If I’d spent time wallowing in self-pity or feeling angry about the employee’s decision to leave, I’d have lost valuable time and energy. I think our egos can get wrapped around the investment we’ve made in helping develop an employee and we can feel betrayed, that they’re being disloyal. That attitude can set us up for a whole set of negative, unproductive feelings. Getting to acceptance quickly, whatever the reality we’re dealing with, is a key to moving towards a solution.

I really like the encouragement you give at the end of your post, and I’m certain it will give a shot of caffeine to someone who may have had a tough day as a leader. I appreciate your post.