My biggest mistakes as a leader occurred as a result of spending way too much time attempting to change two people. I was young, new to the formal leadership scene and convinced that with my help and guidance, these two talented individuals would certainly shed their dysfunctional and toxic behaviors.

Wow, was I wrong!

After a lot of time, money, coaching, counseling and training, one lawsuit and one person storming out never to be seen again, along with untold amounts of collateral damage to the team and my own credibility as a leader, I had learned my lesson. People do not fundamentally change their nature.

I’ve been accused of sounding cynical and jaded as a result of my own early misfires, and perhaps I am. Nonetheless, I learned in a painful way why I needed to hire slowly and fire fast and have been well served incorporating this approach since learning those painful lessons.

In workshop settings, I present appropriately sanitized versions of those now two-decade old cases and it is fascinating to watch people make my same mistakes over and over again. Without getting into too much detail, both cases include talented individuals that wreak havoc on teams through their approaches. They are toxic, but they are both so freaking talented at their jobs, that it is easy for people and their manager to excuse their behaviors. “That’s just Bob,” or “That’s just Suzy.” In essence, the manager and those around them become their enablers and excusers.

After reviewing the case and debating “what to do” in small groups, I invariably get these responses:

-Create a new position

-Put him/her in a different role

-More coaching

Almost no one suggests firing the individuals until I play the annoying devil’s advocate on the above suggestions.

The unfortunate reality is that many managers are unprepared to deal with the “brilliant problem-child” character and they fall victim to the same fate as the erstwhile frog in the “Parable of the Scorpion and the Frog.”

Sidebar: In case you haven’t heard it: Scorpion needs a ride across a pond and asks the frog to carry him over on his back.  Frog at first says, “No, you’ll sting me and we’ll both die and what purpose would that serve?  Scorpion says, “No I won’t, I’ve changed.”  Frog thinks about it for a while, says, “OK, jump on.”  The frog starts swimming across the pond, gets halfway, the scorpion stings him and as he’s going down, he asks, “Why did you do that?”  The Scorpion responds, “I can’t help it, it’s my nature.”

The Bottom Line for Now:

You cannot change people. They have to want to change and unfortunately, deep, lasting and significant change is rare indeed. Like the scorpion above, people don’t change their nature.

You are in danger of spending too much time with the wrong people. Cut it out. Focus on those that are striving to learn and grow.

Hire very, very slowly and fire fast. You’ll make fewer critical mistakes this way.